LATEST NEWS ABOUT GLOBAL WARMING

Republicans blame Obama and Democrats for shorter days

In a new strategy to win control of the US House and Senate in November, the Republican Party has launched a new campaign against President Barak Obama and the Democratic majorities in the House and Senate.

“You might have noticed that days started getting shorter since June 22nd,” said a spokesman for the GOPs new Defeat the Darned Democrats committee. “That’s Obama’s fault and the fault of Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid.”

“If this trend continues we will live in darkness and cold. The solution is to elect Republicans in November,” the source added.

GOP candidates will be promising to reverse the trend of shorter daylight hours by the 22nd  of December if they get majorities in the House and Senate.

The campaign will be called “Save our daylight – elect Republicans to Congress.”

GOP campaigns will also attempt to blame Obama and Congressional Democrats for global warming due to the hot air coming from the White House and Capitol Hill.

“Our argument is that pretty much everything that is going wrong right now in America , whether it is the oil spill in the Gulf, high unemployment, soaring health care costs and millions of illegal immigrants hiding in the country, are all Obama’s fault and are being made worse by the Democrats who run Congress,” said the Defeat the Darned Democrats spokesman. “The save our daylight campaign is just an extension of that blame game.”

Defeat the Darned Democrats strategists are following the lead of Arizona, which made illegal immigration a national political issue by SB 1070 which ordered its local police to crack down on illegal aliens. "There's no real way making local cops deputy Border Patrol agents will actually do anything useful to stop illegal immigration, but the legislation stirred things up big time in our favor," said the DDD spokesman.

“Arizona proved you can invent an issue out of thin air, exploit people’s frustrations with ineffective federal action, stoke up a climate of fearand anger, and change the political landscape,” added the DDD spokesman.

Twenty other states are considering passing laws similar to SB 1070. "Hopefully every state which tries to pass an SB 1070 bill will elect Republicans to Congress," said the spokesman.

“The shorter days will be very apparent by November,” said the GOP spokesman. “We’ll be running a lost daylight clock so every day we lose a few minutes of light, folks will know whose fault it is.”

The new Save our Daylight campaign will also show how many illegal immigrants have entered into the country each day.

IS IT TIME FOR BAJA ARIZONA YET?

The Arizona state legislature dominated by right wing nuts from Marciopa County have gone flat insane. Is it time for America's 51st state yet? More....

HOW TO LIVE ON A TIGHT BUDGET

With the cost of living increasing daily, and wages falling behind steadily, how does a person live? The answer is simple....you can live on 1/10th the money you now make.

How does one cut their income by 90% and still survive? You must learn the "time value of money" function.

Money, as well all know, buys stuff. The problem is that stuff is expensive, especially new stuff.

For example, a book on the New York Times best seller list will cost around $25. But if you wait two years for the book to turn up in a used book store, it will cost you $2.50. Exactly 1/10th the original price two years later. You pay an extra $22.50 to read the book while it is new.

A new car loses thousands of dollars in value the minute you drive it off the lot. If you buy a 1988 car today, it will cost 1/10th of the cost of the new car today.

A first run movie costs $7.50, plus the popcorn...for 4 people this is a total of $40. Wait until the movie is for rent at the local video store, and the movie can be seen for $4. Make your own popcorn.

New clothes cost 10 times as much as used clothes. Who knows the difference after the first time they're washed?

The lesson is obvious...you don't pay for the stuff so much as you pay to have it right now when it is new. The longer you wait, the cheaper things get.

Instead of living in the year 2008, try living in 1998. You'll be amazed at how much you can save by waiting ten years.

The farther back in time you live, the more you will save, up to the point where old stuff becomes historic or collectable.

Just think if you'd saved all the original stuff you once owned. You could be living off selling the stuff today on eBay.

The problem is we are always constantly getting rid of our old stuff to buy new stuff. And paying a premium price for the newness of the stuff.

Does it really matter if you are just now reading 1998 copies of Newsweek? You can do this for free in any doctor's office.

As long as there are people willing to spend a lot of extra money to buy new stuff, there will always be a lot of older stuff around for sale at great discounts. You can furnish your home from yard sales. You can buy really cheap appliances and tools at yard sales. Televisions, even.

The major element of the cost of living is housing. You pay a premium for a house on a foundation. In you don't mind your home being mobile (especially in a tornado) you can get a basic place to live for under $45,000. If you get a really old mobile home (aka "trailer") you could cut that cost down to $4,500. And you might even get to live next to some of Bill Clinton's ex-girl friends.

Medical care is also an expensive part of the cost of living. Hey, who can afford health insurance, anyway? We're all going to die, anyway. Why prolong the process and bankrupt your children.

Remember, it isn't the cost, but the value that counts.

“The Squirrelly Advisor” is a parody of “How To” advice columns.

The premise of “The Squirrelly Advisor” is to address topics of concern from a decidedly off-beat perspective.

When confronted with choices in our lives, we hear the voices of our angels and demons advising us, and sometimes we also hear the voice of the squirrel.

Rarely do we actually act upon the advice of our inner squirrel, but sometimes being able to laugh about our problems opens new doors of awareness.

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