TUBAC, AZ: It is said that evolution is a critter's response to environmental stress. Some unusually evolved birds have been discovered in the vicinity of Tubac, Arizona (which is 40 miles south of Tucson).

"I woke up thinking my cell phone battery was going dead," said Joe Sam, Bandersnatch Statutory Agent. "I heard this beep....beep...beep..."

An investigation of the cell phone proved the sound, though similar to the phone signaling its battery was dying (using the last watt of power to do this), was coming from outdoors.

"We hunted around, and discovered a Mocking Bird sitting in the tree making cell phone sounds," Sam said.

A quick scientific study of the phenomena, conducted by the General Delivery University's Department of Ornithology and Optimization, resulted in the conclusion that the birds are adapting to human technology in ways unimagined.

"Birds have assumed for a long time that their singing wakes people up," said Dr. Frenbush, of the GDU. "After a while, the birds realized that no one was paying any attention to them."

Then, one day, a bird discovered that by mimicking the sound of a cell phone, they woke everyone up in the area. Other birds copied the new song.

"Pretty soon it is going to get seriously weird out there, because we have reports of birds imitating the sound of a general protection fault, and of imminent airbag deployment," Frenbush said.