SANTA SEEN AS SOURCE OF PSYCHOSIS IN SOCIETY
Tucson, Baja Arizona: New studies suggest that much of the psychosis evident in American society and culture is all due to the negative influences of Santa Claus, a scientist with the General Delivery University Department of Phreneology announced today.
"The model of relationship Santa establishes among children sets the stage for very dysfunctional adults," Dr. Phineas Freebunk said today.
"Just look at American society now...everyone expects a free lunch, no one will accept any responsibility for their behaviour, and everyone expects the government to solve all their problems with someone else paying the taxes," Freebunk explained.
"So think back to the message of Santa...get up on his lap with your list of goodies, smile, and bingo you get all that stuff under the tree," Freebunk added.
"Ask and you shall receive. Make a list of what you want, throw a lot of fits, and mommy and or daddy gives you the brand new whatever," Freebunk said.
"You grow up expecting your wife or husband to be your Santa, and your mayor, your congressman and your preseident," Freebunk huffed.
"The role of Santa needs to be changed. He needs his own list of who's been naughty or nice, and he needs to leave lumps of coal for the bad little boys ands girls and President Bush and his advisers."
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