THOUSANDS MAY DIE PREMATURELY AS A RESULT OF ECONOMIC CRISIS
Doctors and the General Delivery University College of Medicine and Insurance Overpayment Institute predicted today that the country's economic crisis was going to greatly increase the number of premature deaths seen in the county over the next few months.
"First, we have millions of people suffering clinical depression as a result of losing their homes and jobs, which raises the suicide risk," said Dr. Ronald Hyde.
"Second, millions of people are losing their health insurance which means they won't seek medical care when they need it, increasing fatality risk," the doctor added.
"Third, people are drinking and drugging a lot to get rid of their blues, which raises the risk of accidental death."
"Fourth, many can't afford to heat their homes this winter which will exacerbate any flu epidemic," the doc said.
"Fifth, crime is increasing, with those consequences," he said. "We will know when this has reached a critical point when people start getting shot for stealing other people's chickens."
"Sixth, with cutbacks in medical staff, especially in hospitals serving lower income neighborhoods, people will have to wait even longer for emergency care. More will die in the waiting rooms."
"Seventh, a lot of older people are just going to flat run out of money to eat and they may starve to death," the doc said somberly.
"We could see the first real decline in our country's population in decades," Hyde said.
The Bush Administration apparently has the same plan to deal with the higher expected death rate from the economic collapse as they did for Katrina, which has been called "You're on your own".
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