Students attending most architecture schools have ambitions of designing majestic public facilities. Our students are prepared for the more realistic opportunities in this profession.

ARCH 101: CHEAP LOOKING PUBLIC BUILDINGS Regardless of how many tens of millions of dollars a public building costs, it must look cheap. Learn how to use exposed concrete, dull colors and tin roofs for fire stations, libraries and city halls.

ARCH 102: AIRPORT TERMINALS How to design a major international airport to maximize confusion, increase stress,make security checks as slow and embarassing as possible, enhance the sale of flight insurance, while making it impossible to locate one's luggage. Students interested in obtaining the Course Materials for this class are required, at their sole expense, to take a field trip to Denver International Airport.

ARCH 103: TRACT HOMES There is a reason why every new subdivision home looks the same. Students will learn how to copy plans from existing tract homes. [Note: students must be proficient in the use of common copier machines and be willing to spend Saturdays visiting new subdivision model home complexes.]

ARCH 104: HOME ADDITIONS Designing tasteful bathrooms, bedrooms, and family rooms that cost more than the original house.

ARCH 105: JAILS One of the most difficult projects involves jails. How to design a jail that satisfies civil libertarians while at the same time creating a dungeon to satisfy local taxpayers is covered.

ARCH 106: FRANCHISE STRUCTURES How to make a franchise outlet structure, such as a McDonalds, blend into the local community through the use of indigenous landscape plants.

ARCH 107: SHOPPING MALLS How to create an ersatz environment full of fountains, potted plants, surrounded by chain stores, with areas for craft fairs, surrounded by vast quantities of parking, on which site the First Amendment does not apply.

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Copyright 1997,1999 by Hugh Holub