CALIFORNIA QUAKE FLATTENS NOTHING
QUAKE-PROOF HOUSING DISCOVERED

29 THORNS, CA: In the wake of the 7.0 quake in the California desert, it has been discovered that one type of housing is almost indestructible in an earth tremor--mobile homes.

"Had that quake occurred anywhere with conventional construction, thousands of lives would have been lost," said Dr. Ricky Richter, head of the General Delivery University Department of Cosmetology and Seismology.

"But the quake happened in a remote stretch of California desert primarily inhabited by snow birds in mobile homes," Richter added, "and other than a lot of broken dishes, no serious damage was inflicted."

Building code specialists from around the world rushed to the California quake epicenter to study the lack of damage. "These mobile homes as you call them were simply knocked off their cinder block foundations," said Professor Willy Pete from the Odenberg Institute of Construction. "All the people have to do is prop them back up. Amazing. Since these dwelling units were not attached to the ground, they just bounced around like metal basketballs during the event."

The irony of the discovery that mobile homes are the safest types of housing in quake-prone zones is that God invented tornadoes to convince people not to live in the tin houses.

"Since there is a very low probability of tornadic weather on the faulted zones of the West Coast, it would be advised to tear down all conventional residential buildings, and replace them with mobile homes," said Richter.