AFGHAN FACTIONS FRACTION

GUIDE TO WINTER OLYMPICS

ANDERSEN WINS NEW YORK COOKING AWARD

NEWS FROM BAJA ARIZONA

2002 STORIES

RECESSION HITS REINDEER

RODENT REMOVAL TOOLS TO BE USED TO DIG OUT BIN LADEN

SANTA CONFRONTS HOMELANMD SECURITY

LAWRENCE OF ARABIA USED IN AFGHAN NEGOTIATIONS

THANKSGIVING 2001 ISSUE

KABUL BARBERS CELEBRATE FALL OF TALIBAN

NEW ECONOMIC STIMULUS PROPOSAL

POST OFFICE ISSUES NEW ANTHRAX STAMP

$100 MILLION REWARD OFFERED

HOW TO PUNISH BIN LADEN CONTEST

HOW TO PROTECT YOUR HOME FROM TERRORIST ATTACK

NAME THE TERRORISTS

911

PLAN TO IMRPOVE US-MEXICAN RELATIONS

LAWYER BUY OUT PROGRAM

BEACH BALLS TO BE ORBITED AROUND MARS

CELEBRITY CLONING BANNED

WORLD'S LARGEST TRAILER PARK PROPOSED

MAFIA DISARMS

BUSH DINES WITH QUEEN

PLAN TO OUST McCAIN FROM SENATE DISCOVERED

SPACE DEFENSE FAILS - SAN DIEGO DESTROYED

BANDERSNATCH GETS CHECK FROM IRELAND

VIRUS THREASTENS CAPITAL HILL

NEW SURVIVOR SHOW--LIVING ON THE MINIMUM WAGE

Ashcroft

DUST BUNNIES DECLARED ENDANGERED SPECIES

2001 APRIL FOOLS ISSUE

BOOMERS BLAMED FOR BAD ECONOMY

2000 CENSUS REPORT

FDA APPROVES NEW WONDER DRUG

GDU BOOKSTORE OPENS

SEC SEEKS TO SHUT DOWN INTERNET TO PROTECT STOCK PRICES

BUSH CONSPIRACY TO KEEP CLINTON IN NEWS DISCOVERED

CLINTONS OPEN USED FURNITURE STORE

WITCHES DENIED FEDERAL FUNDS

JACKSON BREAKS 48 HOUR REDEMPTION RECORD

ANCIENT SUB FOUND AT BOTTOM OF AFRICAN LAKE

BANDERSNATCH 400TH ANNIVERSARY ISSUE

WEST PUT ON MARKET

BUSH APPOINTS NEW JERSEY GOVERNOR EPA ADMINISTRATOR

END OF DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME CONFUSES MILLIONS

CANDIDATE HALLOWEEN COSTUMES

KITTY LITTER LANDSCAPE PROTESTED

INDIANS DISCOVER EUROPE

CUBAN EMBARGO TO BE LIFTED FOR VINTAGE CARS

RUSSIAN GYMNAST LANDS IN STANDS

ORDINARY OLYMPICS BEGIN

GORE ECONOMIC PLAN UNFATHOMABLE

FIRINGS HIGHLIGHT LABOR DAY CELEBRATION

FINAL FOUR IN SURVIVOR

ARE YOU A REPUBLICAN OR DEMOCRAT?

FIRES CONSUME WEST

GLOBAL WARMING RUMOR CONFIRMED

NAPSTER SAVED FROM DUMPSTER

MIR SAVED BY CAPITALIST SWINE

ARAFAT TELLS ISRAELIES TO MOVE TO LONG ISLAND

DURISBAN BAN UNLEASHES BUG INVASION

NEW YORK MAYOR ATTEMPTS TO MEND FENCES

WATER DISCOVERED ON MARS

DEAD ALIENS LITTER LANDSCAPE

SPACE DEFENSE GARBAGE

SAVE THE BUGS

SHOOTING GALLERY PLANNED FOR TIMES SQUARE

RANGER GIVEN ORDER OF LENIN AWARD

GIANT BONE FOUND IN SPACE

MICROSOFT BREAKUP PROPOSAL

ELIAN'S FATHER SHOULD DEFECT

CHRIST RETURNS TO LOW INTEREST RATE

I LOVE ELIAN

GORE TO ADOPT CUBAN BOY

INDIA - PAKISTAN DISARMAMENT

AZTEC HEART TRANSPLANT INSTITUTE REPLACES BROKEN HEARTS

LESBIANS FOR BUSH

McCAIN EXCOMMUNICATED

BUSH WINS GRANNY AWARD

McCain Wins Demo Primary

KEEP MOMS AT HOME

BUSH CLAIMS McCAIN NOT A REPUBLICAN

SCHOOL PROBLEMS SOLVED

BUCHANAN PROPOSES BORDER BOMBING RANGES

MAYFLOWER SINKS - SURVIVORS DEPORTED

VATICAN TO SELL SAINTS

LAWYER BUY OUT PROGRAM

WORLD THROWS PARTY

TABLOID XMAS STORY

SANTA OVERWHELMED BY REGULATIONS

GIULIANI DRESSES HOMELESS AS SANTAS

SANTA CAN'T CROSS BORDER

1999 THANKSGIVING ISSUE

POKEMON SHORTAGE PANICS KIDS

MONOPOLY VIRUS

HOMELESS PUT TO WORK ROUNDING UP SHOPPING CARTS

1999 HALLOWEEN EDITION

QUAKE PROOF HOUSING DISCOVERED IN CALIFORNIA

GIANT NUCLEAR REACTION SEEN IN JAPANESE SKIES

MARTIANS STOP SECOND EARTH INVASION

BUCHANAN RUNS FOR GERMAN OFFICE

METAL DETECTORS INSTALLED IN CHURCHES

TOY GUN BUY OUT PROPOSED

ORGAN DONOR UNION FORMED

THOUSANDS SEEK FREEDOM UNDER BUSH DEFENSE

HURRICANE IS RATINGS DUD

HILLARY PRETENDS TO BE A NEW YORKER

COOKIE CRUMBLER COMPLAINS

DAY TRADING IN VEGAS

GOP TAX CUT EXTENDS LIFE OF RICH OLD PEOPLE

FOOD ADDITIVES FOUND FINE

ARAFAT SHOT

EAGLES NO LONGER ENDANGERED--TASTE GOOD

SUMMER HEAT CAUSES BRAIN DAMAGE

BANDERSNATCH STOCK FOR SALE

RUSSIANS WIN IN KOSOVO

SAVE THE Y2K BUG

NEW MENTAL HEALTH PLAN DRIVES PEOPLE CRAZY

MACHINE GUNS URGED FOR EVERY AMERICAN

SCHOOL ENDS - GUNFIRE WANES

TV ANCHORS PROTEST BEING TARGETS

A MODERN NOAH'S ARK

HIGH SCHOOL DEATH SQUADS SENT TO SERBIA

IMMORTAL RATS CREATED

CLINTON GETS BEAVER

CONTEST ON HOW TO WIN WAR AGAINST SERBIA

1999 APRIL FOOLS EDITION

CHINESE FURBYS CAUGHT SPYING AT LOS ALAMOS

REALLY BAD TAX ADVICE

NW JET DISCOVERED BURIED IN SNOW

MONICA TALKS - NO ONE LISTENS

RUSSIAN PLOT UNCOVERED

GIANT PRARIE DOG SIGHTED NEAR TUCSON

VALENTINE ISSUE

MONICA SAVED FROM FATE WORSE THAN DEATH

IMPEACHMENT TRIAL AND ERRORS

TAMPA GETS WINTER OLYMPICS

FURBYS REPORTED REPRODUCING

WASHINGTON SWAMPED IN FECAL MATERIAL

1999 PREDICTIONS

SECRET WEAPONS AGAINST SADDAM

SANTA QUITS AGAIN

SANTA OFFERS REPLACE CLINTON

CASTRO LEGALIZES CHRISTMAS

BLACK HELICOPTERS EXPLAINED

DNA CRUISE MISSILES AIMED AT SADDAM

ELECTION ANALYSIS

JEFFERSON SEX SCANDAL

1998 HALLOWEEN EDITION

HATE CRIMES HATED

NIXON LAUGHS FROM GRAVE

CLINTON DOLE MEET, SWAP LIES

ANNUAL EQUINOX THREATENS STORY

CLINTON ABUSED CIGARS STARR REPORT SAYS

STARR REPORT STARRED

CLINTON - YELTSIN AGREE TO EXCHANGE JOBS

AIDE CLAIMS CLINTON DIDN'T PROPOSITION HER

CLINTON ATTACKS TERRORIST BASES IN VIRGINIA

PORTABLE EMBASSIES PROPOSED

CLINTON SKIRTS MONICA SEX CLAIM

LA TO BE FLATTENED BY QUAKE

CANCER CURE DISCOVERED IN CAVE

DOCTORLESS HMO OPENS

CNN RETRACTS TAILWIND STORY

HOW TO MAKE AN AMERICAN

STUCCO EATING TERMITES THREATEN S. CALIF

PUPPET BEATEN TO PULP

DENVER HIRES GINSBERG

PAKS 6 WOGS 5 IN NUCLEAR ARMS RACE

GODZILLA ATTACKS GARGANTUA TO SAVE MOZILLA

SINATRA LAID TO REST IN EAST RIVER

NEPAL GETS NUKES - THREATENS BHUTAN

IRISH FIGHT OVER PEACE TALKS

CIG MAKERS TO SAVE SOCIAL SECURITY

TUCSON SECRET REVEALED

BOYFRIEND SHOT OVER GARAGE DOOR OPENER

GREENLAND DEMANDS SHARE OF TITANIC PROFITS

Annual April Fools Edition

CLINTON DECLARES WAR ON KEN STARR

EQUINOX THREATENS AGAIN

The Great Bandersnatch Hunt

TOMMY LEE TRIES TO MAKE BAIL WITH VIDEO

NEW WEB TECHNOLOGY

CLINTON HELPS FRIENDS...SURPISE?

SECRET BIOLOGICAL WEAPON DEPLOYED TO IRAQ

CLINTON DENIES HAVING SEX WITH HILLARY

WHITE HOUSE INTERN DENIES BEING PROPOSITIONED

UNDERWEAR PROVEN TO CAUSE FLU

MIDGETS SEIZE TINY TOWN

A LETTER FROM BILL CLINTON

PREDICTIONS FOR 1998

BEST STORIES OF 1997

1997 CHRISTMAS EDITION

ILLEGAL ALIEN HAS ILLEGITIMATE BIRTH

SANTA OFFERS TO GOVERN US

SANTA THREATENS BOYCOTT OVER BEING SHOT AT

THE TRUTH ABOUT THANKSGIVING

ARE COWS AN ENDANGERED SPECIES?

UN BOMBS IRAQ WITH DIPLOMATS

CHINA REFUSES HUMAN RIGHTS--GETS JETS

WALL STREET CELEBRATES HALLOWEEN

RANCHERS PROPOSE TO RELEASE WOLVES IN CENTRAL PARK

CAMPAIGN FINANCE SCANDAL BORES AMERICA TO DEATH

HOOTERS TO OPEN NEW RESTAURANTS CALLED BUNZ

TED TURNER BUYS UNITED NATIONS

NEW WORLD RELIGION FOUNDED BY ACCIDENT

BAD TUNNEL DESIGN SUSPECTED IN DI'S DEMISE

GORE DENIES RAISING POLITICAL MONEY AS NOSE GROWS

WAR CRIMINAL DENIES HE'S A PAPARAZZI

ILLEGAL LOOKING CANADIANS SEIZED AT BORDER

THE STANDARD 36 HEADLINES USED BY PBS AND THE BBC

WILL MAYTAG REPAIRMAN SAVE MIR?

LEWIS CARROLL INDICTED

FISH FLAP FINDS FEDS FIGHTING FOR FUNDS

ALIENS INVADE MARS

FASTER THAN LIGHT DRIVE FOUND AT K MART

CIG MAKERS DEMISE

UNDERWEAR PROVEN TO CAUSE FLU

LASSIE COMES OUT OF CLOSET

HOMELESS BEAUTIFICATION PROGRAM PROPOSED

ROCK 'N ROLL NURSING HOME OPENS

CLINTON FOUND GUILTY OF BAD TASTE

WALLET-EATING DINOSAURS ATTACK AMERICA

WILL HILLARY BE INDICTED?

SUMMER VACATION TIPS

SEX ON THE WEB

GUIDE TO YARD SALE COMPUTERS

BILL GATES ABDUCTED BY ALIENS

DOLE OPENS PENALTY BANK

COMET MISSES EARTH--DISASTER MOVIE THREAT WANES

HOW TO SAVE MONEY ON TAXES AND GO TO JAIL

CLINTON SELLS IDAHO

PYGMY OWLS THREATEN TUCSON

RAMADA OFFERS TO BUY WHITE HOUSE

CONGRESS INDICTED FOR FRAUD

GROUNDHOG DAY IN PHEONIX A DISASTER

ALIENS INVADE ARIZONA

YUMA TO BE SEAPORT AS GLOBAL WARMING SPREADS

OUR VERY FIRST ON-LINE EDITION