US OFFERS TO SEND MAYTAG REPAIRMAN TO SAVE MIR
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In the spirit of international
cooperation, NASA has offered to send the Maytag repairman to Space
Station Mir to help in repairing the disabled orbiter.
"Since the space station appears to have been constructed with
used washing machine parts we thought we could offer our best
technology to assist the Russians," noted a spokesman for NASA.
The Russian space program declined the
offer. |
HELMS NOMINATES DAVEY CROCKETT AS AMBASSADOR
TO MEXICO
| US Senator Jesse Helms reiterated his determination to block the nomination of former
Massachusettes Governor William Weld as ambassador to Mexico. "I
don't think this Weld guy is hard-nosed enough to represent the US
to Mexico," Helms noted. "I want someone more appropriate for the
job," added Helms, " like Davey Crockett." |
RANCHERS TO RAISE BUREAUCRATS
By Jonathan P. Bernick
MAGDALENA, NM - In an effort to diversify
their herds, New Mexico ranchers are starting to raise bureaucrats.
New bureaucrat-rancher Bo Vine is enthusiastic about his animals.
"Bureaucrats are even cheaper to feed than pigs," said Vine, gazing fondly
at his herd. "There are a few things a pig won't swallow." Vine cheerfully
explained that the herd we were looking at was already sold to a major
restaurant chain. "The meat requires a lot of tenderizing," Vine candidly
admitted, "but people don't seem to mind pounding on a bureaucrat."
Copyright 1997 by Hugh Holub
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