CNN Issues Apology; Retracts Tailwind Story

Firings, Resignations Follow in Wake of Journalistic Stumble

The world of journalism has been rocked by one of the biggest scandals to hit it since last month, when The New Republic fired associate editor Stephen Glass for fabricating stories. (To quote TNR: "... all told, at least 27 of these [41 articles by Glass] were wholly or partially fabricated.") This week CNN was forced to retract its recent story on Operation Tailwind. The story alleged that U.S. military personnel had used the banned nerve agent sarin in Laos during the Vietnam War, against deserters from their own army. CNN fired several people who were involved in producing the piece, and others at the station resigned. In addition to Glass and the CNN journalists, The Cincinnati Enquirer 's Michael Gallagher and Boston Globe metro columnist Patricia Smith have recently been caught making up their facts.

CNN News Group Chairman, President, CEO and ex-Doobie Brother Tom Johnson told TFB that, "It was your reporting that clinched our decision to come clean with this. Once The Frumious Bandersnatch is on a story, you're like one of those, whatchamacallits… ferrets! It gets its sharp little fangs into something and just won't let go. Look at how your reporters have hounded Al Gore. Week after week after week, one bad Gore joke follows another. Christ, I'm sick of them already! Do more of those nice dinosaur cartoons."

CNN also announced the cancellation of several planned specials by Tailwind reporter Peter Arnett. The pieces Arnett had been planning included:

• A exposee on the beings that live on the Sun employing homeless squeegie men and paying them below minimum wage.
• A presentation of new evidence showing that the CIA had President James Garfield killed.
• A documentary on Ronald Reagan's mean-spirited behavior towards Bonzo.

Dismissed Tailwind producer April Oliver stood by her story, and claimed to be a victim in the melee. She told the TFB reporters:

"These shadow warriors don't like us looking into their diabolical business and their dark, fetid spaces. They're doing their best to make sure that no one else does. I wouldn't be surprised if you found my body rotting on some deserted beach one day. Haven't any of you people ever watched the X-Files or any Oliver Stone movies?

"This was a report on America’s secret army. Of course there is no documentation, no evidence, not a fact in sight… people sitting around waiting for 'the facts' is what has allowed the Knights Templar to take over the world! I can't talk anymore--they're following me!"

Former CBS correspondent Ike Pappas said: "I think what is misunderstood a lot today is the enormous pressure that reporters and producers are under to come up with a story on the premiere or a debut of a broadcast. I mean, that would pretty much excuse anything, even lying, or slandering a lot of brave, patriotic men--wouldn't it?"

"I think it's a good day when any of us, any journalistic institution, will strongly investigate itself and will forthrightly admit when wrong," said Michael Kramer, editorial director of the new magazine Brill's Content. We asked Kramer if this meant that Content would soon be investigating founder Steven Brill's piece on Ken Starr's "leaks." After the piece appeared, a full dozen of Brill's sources claim they were misquoted, and it soon emerged that Brill had been a major Clinton campaign contributor. Kramer became tentative. "Well, that is a little different -- I mean, we were just setting out to smear Starr, not attempting to do any actual news story. And I think we succeeded, don’t you?"

In Arizona, the editor of this e-zine, Hugh Holub, offered positions at The Frumious Bandersnatch to all of the recently disgraced journalists. "Making up your stories is no disadvantage when it comes to working for us. We openly boast that we're the least reliable source of news on the net. The stories these reporters have been writing are a little too wild even for TFB, but I think we could work with them to tone things down." Holub went on to note that any reporter who fails to reach TFB's low levels would be hired by the Nogales International.

And finally, from Washington, Al Gore expressed his concern at the declining standards in journalism: "Accurate journalism is a subject very close to my heart. I had a great-aunt who died after being hounded from town by a libelous journalist. Very, very sad case. And it's a little known fact, but Tipper and I were the inspiration for All the President's Men ."

© 1998, Gene Callahan, Stu Morgenstern

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