SCHOOL OF DIVINITY

The General Delivery University School of Divinity is affiliated with the First Church of Generic Beliefs. The First Church of Generic Beliefs is committed to ending religious-based conflict by merging the best of all known religions into one generic religion that everyone can belong to. The First Church of Generic Beliefs is in the process of completing its first important religious document, which is a "best of" compilation from the Old Testament, the New Testament, the Koran, and other important religious works. Due to potential disagreement over the selection of materials for this document, the authors have insisted on remaining anonymous.

People who wish to obtain a Doctor of Divinity Degree from GDU merely have to send $25 by money order or cashier's check, made payable to the GDU.

GENERIC RELIGIOUS STUDIES PROGRAM

GENREL 102: HELL Virtually all religions have some defined unpleasant place where the wicked are punished for their misdeeds. Various forms of Hell will be studied, ranging from Dante's Inferno to having to watch a shopping channel on cable tv. Fee: Your soul.

GENREL 103: COMMUNICATIONS FROM GOD Most religions are centered around communications from God, which generally focus on individuals who then must spread the word around (making one wonder why, if God is almighty, he needs messengers). How to determine whether God is speaking to you, or do you need to increase your medication. Fee: $50,000.00. [Creation of Web Page optional]

GENREL 104: BINGO An almost universal attribute of religions are their diverse ways of raising funds. Bingo, selling seats for the High Holy Days, and other fund-raising programs are covered. Fee: 10% of your annual income.

GENREL 105: CREATION All religions have creation stories. This comprehensive course will review as many creation stories as possible, including those which end with the garbage left over from the creation process becoming the enemies of the people with the creation story. Also, a good chance to study the origin of gender conflict. Fee: $50.00.

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Copyright 1997,1999 by Hugh Holub