GDU LAUNCHES
FIRST EARTH SATELLITE
The
General Delivery University launched its first
earth orbiting satellite today. "We are very
proud of our Department of Rocket Science,"
beamed General Bill Delivery.
The
satellite, known as "Knick-Knack",
orbits the earth every 90 minutes.
"Unfortunately, it does absolutely
nothing," admitted Dr. Phineas Phogbank,
head of the Dept. of Rocket Science. "We
spent our entire budget constructing the rocket,
and had to use a knick-knack from our secretary's
desk as the orbital vehicle," added
Phogbank. GDU's satellite "Knick-Knack"
should not be confused with the University of
Arizona's orbiting infrared space telescope
Nicmoss.
GDU CATALOG GETS
REVIEWED
The
General Delivery University website was reviewed
in the April edition of Internet
Underground. Here's what IU
had to say:
"Here's
chance to stick it to The Man. Why pay thousands
of dollars for an education when all you really
need is the diploma? General Delivery University
will let you download the degree of your choice
from a law or medical degree to a "School of
Hard Knocks" certificate. What does General
Delivery U charge for this experience? Not a
dime. If you've got the capability to download,
the diploma is yours to do with as you see fit.
Each discipline, such as Engineering and
Education, has specific schools from which you
may receive your diploma--for example, elevator
and toy assembly or study hall and sex education.
The diplomas cost netizens nothing, but a simulated
parchment version costs $6.95"
And..."Point
'n' Click", on Time Warner's cable channel
13 in Syracuse, New York , said:
"Visit
America's only Genuine Diploma Mill. General
Delivery University offers courses of study in
several schools like the College of Sorcery,
School of Divinity, or School of Hard Knocks.
When you are through surfing the website, print
your very own diploma!"
FREE DIPLOMA
GIVEAWAY CONTINUES
GDU's
free diploma sale continues at the GDU website.
http://www.bandersnatch.com/gduedu.htm
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General
William Delivery, President of the General
Delivery University, is pleased to announce
that the FREE DIPLOMA offer continues at
the GDU website. "The free diplomas
are kind of crummy, though,"
explained General Delivery. "We
obviously could make a pretty good
diploma you could download, but then no
one would want to buy a better quality
diploma from us, with their names printed
on it, and all," Delivery added. "Actually 2
diplomas are now available for
free," Delivery noted. "Our
upgraded version looks like simulated
parchment." A high quality color
printer is required to print this
diploma.
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