[GDU refuses to offer a degree in medicine out of concern that some cost-conscious hospital will hire someone with one of our diplomas, and let them perform surgery. However,GDU does offer programs in medically-related fields.]
COLLEGE OF NURSING
There are certain nursing skills that are obvious not taught at conventional nursing schools, but which seem to be learned anyway.
NURSING 101: WAKING UP THE PATIENT How to time the administration of medication, or the taking of blood pressure, when the patient has just gone to sleep.
NURSING 102: COMFORTING STATEMENTS How to assure the patient "this won't hurt" when you (and the patient) knows it will.
NURSING 103: DISAGREEING WITH DOCTORS How to inform the doctor that the medication he has just ordered for the patient will likely lead to cardiac arrest, without offending said doctor.
COLLEGE OF PHARMACY
DRUGS 101: DRUG STORE GEOGRAPHY How to find the drugs in a drug store. Course Materials consist of map of typical national chain drug store and narration on logic of drug location.
COLLEGE OF HOSPITAL MANAGEMENT
HOSP MANAGEMENT 101: BILLING How to charge $87 for an aspirin, and collect bills from insurance companies.
AZTEC HEART TRANSPLANT CENTER
Our world famous Aztec Heart Transplant Center is looking for donors.We have been very successful in using our obsideon knives to remove live human hearts and transplant them into the chests of our warriors. Located in Mexico City.
BACK TO MAIN CAMPUS
Copyright 1997,1999 by Hugh Holub