COLLEGE OF BIODYNAMICS (FORMERLY PHYSICAL EDUCATION)

This program is currently being revised to try and justify having P.E. classes at an institution that also offers courses in astronomy and physics.

COLLEGE OF LAW

The General Delivery University provides limited educational opportunities in the field of law. However, after exhaustive research, GDU determined that only one course (not offered at other Law Schools) was necessary.

LAW 101: BILLING How to maximize the billing to clients. What 1/10th of an hour really is.

See our Law College Review

 

COLLEGE OF LAW ENFORCEMENT

The GDU College of Law Enforcement program was designed for students seeking a career in law enforcement work. Rather than dwell on the conventional educational program, GDU's courses serve more as a supplement, covering important aspects of police work generally learned only from on-the-job experience. Our Course Materials were developed by former law enforcement officials who took early retirement.

COPS 101: POPULAR COMMAND LANGUAGE How to say "Up against the wall..." and "Freeze asshole". [Bilingual instruction optional]

COPS 102: AVOIDING VIDEO CAMERAS Spotting the ever present video camera before violating someone's civil rights is an increasingly important skill for police officers and highway patrol people.

COPS 103: BOMB SQUAD How to avoid being assigned to this detail, and other jobs in the department with no future. [Trip to Atlanta optional]

COPS 104: APPROPRIATE WEAPONS Students are instructed as to when to use their 357 magnums with hollow point bullets, as opposed to sawed-off shotguns and automatic weapons, when responding to domestic disturbance calls. Gas grenades and armored personnel carriers will also be covered.

COPS 105: LOOKING SERIOUS Many careers in law enforcement are thwarted because the would-be officer can't look serious enough and intimidate a motorist stopped for failing to yield. Students learn how to scowl.

COPS 106: HOT PURSUIT Students will practice chasing minor traffic offenders through crowded residential areas and school zones at speeds in excess of 140 mph.

COPS 107: FILING FOR DISABILITY The career of most law enforcement officers is relatively short. Thus, how and when to file for disability and retire on full pay is covered.

COPS 108: FLASHING YOUR BADGE It is extremely embarrassing for a plain-clothes officer to flash his badge, and have all his credit cards fall out on the ground. How to successfully flash a badge or credentials without the suspect being able to get your badge number or your name.

COPS 109: COP HUMOR What does it mean when the flag is flying at half-mast at a post office? Answer: They're hiring.

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Copyright 1997,1999 by Hugh Holub