COLLEGE OF POPULAR SCIENCES

DEPARTMENT OF ASTRONOMY

ASTRO 101: STELLAR INTERIORS The interior decoration of homes of various stars, such as Michael Jackson. Location of stars' homes can be studied with a telescope. Map of Hollywood extra.

ASTRO 102: STARS Students will learn how to sing "Twinkle twinkle little star" and "Catch a Falling Star".

ASTRO 103: ORBITAL MECHANICS How to repair broken telescopes in space.

DEPARTMENT OF BIOLOGY

BIO 101: ICE BOX MOLD The formation of ice box mold and other popular high school science experiments is covered.

BIO 102: ANIMALS OF URBAN PARKS The wildlife found in urban parks, such as squirrels and muggers, are captured and dissected.

BIO 103: MORTALITY OF COMMON AQUARIUM FISH How to feed guppies. Changing the water. Watching them die. (Students must provide own guppies, aquarium, water and food.)

BIO 104: FROG METAMORPHOSIS How kissing frogs turn them into princes. And vice versa.

BIO 105: GENETIC ENGINEERING Students are required to experiment with common bacteria to see if a Congressman can be created.

BIO 106: ALIEN BIOLOGY Students will study the newly discovered Martian life. Field trip required.

DEPARTMENT OF CHEMISTRY

CHEM 101: NON-CANCER CAUSING CHEMICALS Are there any chemicals that don't cause cancer?

DEPARTMENT OF COMMUNICATIONS TECHNOLOGY

COMM 101: CABLE CONVERTER BOXES, VCRS, REMOTES How to operate these and other communications devices. Course Materials prepared by children.

DEPARTMENT OF ENVIRONMENTAL MANAGEMENT

EM 101: ACID RAIN Why acid rain is good for lakes is explained by a guest professor from the coal industry. Course materials may be provided free by coal industry.

EM 102: PREDATOR CONTROL How to kill all the mountain lions, wolves and coyotes in America. [Trip to Wyoming optional]

EM 103: RODENT CONTROL What to do with all the billions of rats and mice that will proliferate once EM 102 is completed.

EM 104: TOXIC WASTE DISPOSAL Course Materials can only be reviewed on nights with no moon, and in neighborhoods with no history of political activism. (Course Materials may glow in the dark.)

DEPARTMENT OF HOME IMPROVEMENTS

HP 101: LASERS Using lasers to prevent illegal entry into your home, and other popular residential applications of this technology is covered.

HP 102: ROOM CONVERSION How to convert your family room into a garage.

DEPARTMENT OF PHYSICS

PHYSICS 103: STRESS LIMITS OF A NUCLEAR REACTOR This once in a lifetime subject has been covered by a former manager of the Cherynobl Nuclear Generating Station.

DEPARTMENT OF SCIENCE FICTION

SCIFI 102: GALACTIC EMPIRES A comparative review of the many fictional galactic empires that have been created, and the relative merits of each. Find this on the Internet.

DEPARTMENT OF METEOROLOGY

WEATHER 101: GLOBAL CLIMATE CHANGE Symptoms of global warming are covered and predictions of the new shorelines of America are included for those seeking future investment opportunities in beach front property in Arizona.

WEATHER 102: WEATHER CHANNEL Students will be required to watch the Weather Channel for 24 straight hours and then repeat verbatim the commercials for lawn tractors.

DEPARTMENT OF POLITICAL SCIENCE

POLI SCI 101: OPEN MEETING LAWS How to violate open meeting laws, public disclosure requirements, and other modern innovations to eliminate graft and corruption in government. $400,000.00.

POLI SCI 102: POLITICAL CAMPAIGN MANAGEMENT (Offered in conjunction with the Department of Sorcery) How to elect someone you never heard of to the White House.

DEPARTMENT OF IRRELEVANT STUDIES

The purpose of this program is to provide the student with a rich store of totally irrelevant knowledge to be used in television interviews.

IR 101: EXTRAGALACTIC RADIO SOURCES Are they really out there? Should we talk back? Fee: 329 Andromedan Drks.

IR 102: BIOLUMINESCENCE Why do fire flies glow in the dark?

IR 103: SOIL BEHAVIOR Does dirt sleep? Theories of soil collapse, vibrations, and other moods of potting soil.

IR 104: GEOLOGY OF RHODE ISLAND The State of Rhode Island will be studied down to a depth of 42,000 feet.

IR 105: NORTH AND SOUTH DAKOTA Why is there both a North Dakota and a South Dakota?

IR 106: ETHICS AND TECHNOLOGY Questions, such as does the recipient of a heart transplant have the feelings of the donor, will be covered.

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Copyright 1997,1999 by Hugh Holub